Life, come here to assassinate me!

Throw me a cruel blow
right into the center of my disordered heart.
Pound the walls of my self inflicted martyrdom.

I want you to fling me bloodstained
like that clumsy scarlet woodpecker
that crashed into my window last night.

I took on the job of gravedigger with pride
and buried the poor little creature,
by a border of incredulous plants.

I think I even saw his soul
limping haggardly, setting course,
towards the great unknown.

Life, let me not fool you...
I'm not changing my original plans,
by the sudden moist dream
of colors and little wings in the breeze,
because I'm telling you:

Right now I want everything to do with dying!

Let me then keep myself still.
Let me not give a word
that speaks with emotional tongue.

I'm not asking you
for empathy or comfort.

Don't you dare pass me by
and decide to dig your claws
on another's ray of pale light.

I want to remember how to die!!

© 2003. Excerpted from the book
Passion's Kiss by Minerva T. Bloom

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