I'm Captain Jinks of the Horse Marines,
I feed my horse on corn and beans,
And sport young ladies in their teens,
Though a captain in the army.
I teach young ladies how to dance,
How to dance, how to dance,
I teach young ladies how to dance,
For I'm the pet of the army.

Chorus:

Captain Jinks of the Horse Marines,
I feed my horse on corn and beans,
And often live beyond my means,
Though a captain in the army.

I joined my corps when twenty-one,
Of course I thought it capital fun;
When the enemy came, of course I ran,
For I'm not cut out for the army.
When I left home, mama she cried,
Mama she cried, mama she cried,
When I left home, mama she cried:
"He's not cut out for the army."

The first time I went out to drill,
The bugle sounding made me ill;
Of the battle field I'd had my fill,
For I'm not cut out for the army.
The officers they all did shout
They all did shout, they all did shout,
The officers they all did shout:
"Why, kick him out of the army?!"

- Author Unknown

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