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I've never known love, or so you say,
But how are you to know?
You can't know what's in my heart,
And emotions I don't show. You chastise me for shutting you out,
And you say it's a sin.
But I don't try to shut you out,
I just can't let you in. There's too much hurt that dwells inside,
And I can take no more.
I just want peace, I am so tired,
And life is just a bore. You say your love would do me good,
And take away the pain.
But I've heard those pretty words before,
And that's why I'm insane. Insane is where I go to find,
That peace that's so elusive.
I sit and type these stupid poems,
I'm not sane, but I'm effusive. So in my mind, I travel back,
When times were not so hard.
I seek my refuge deep within,
I'm soul mate with "The Bard". Like Shakespeare, I can craft the words,
That others like to read.
But here within my cranial walls,
There's little that I need. I find that when I write these poems,
I can say things from inside.
But when I try to mouth the words,
I run away and hide. So just accept my love, for what it is,
And don't try to return it.
I just can't take your love right now,
And it hurts me more to spurn it. I know this isn't clear to you,
You just can't understand it.
But my heart must be given, when the time is right,
And you can't just demand it. I have so many things to do,
I don't want to hide.
But you have to give a little room,
So I can come outside. I've locked myself away for years,
So I could survive.
It's gonna take a little while,
To know that I'm alive. Alive to feel your tender touch,
And know a heart that's true.
I hope you'll hang in there with me,
Till I can work it through. I'm trying really hard, I am,
I know it makes you crazy.
But try to see it from my viewpoint,
Although the vision's hazy. I've come so far, more than you know,
And each day I grow stronger.
So try to hold out, don't run away,
It won't be much longer. I'll MAKE those hard decisions,
With strength from God above.
I'll do whatever I must do,
To welcome in your love. - Marv Hardin
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